Do you know the 3 types of compliments?

A compliment is telling someone a true, specific good thing you noticed about them, and why it mattered. There are three kinds. Knowing them makes every compliment you give land harder.

Good. Tap each one below and check - the examples are where most people learn something new.

The three types

1. PersonalWho they are.
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A Personal compliment is about the person themselves: their kindness, patience, courage, humour, the way they treat people. Not what they own or how they look - who they are.

How it works: Name the quality, then the moment you saw it. The moment is the proof that you really noticed.

Weak“You're so nice.”
Strong“You notice when someone has gone quiet. At Tuesday's meeting you brought Sam back in, and the whole room felt safer to speak up. That's who you are.”
Quick check: which one is stronger?
2. AccomplishmentSomething they did or reached.
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An Accomplishment compliment is about something they achieved: a goal met, a job done well, a hard thing finished. It honours the effort it took, not just the result.

How it works: Say what they did, what it took, and what it showed you.

Weak“Congrats on the marathon!”
Strong“You trained through a winter of 5 a.m. runs and finished your first marathon in 4:12. Watching you stick with it made me believe I can finish my own hard goal.”
Quick check: which one is stronger?
3. AcknowledgmentSomething they did for you or for others.
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An Acknowledgment is thanks for something they did - for you, for the team, for a stranger. It tells them their help was seen, often help nobody else noticed.

How it works: Say what they did, that they did not have to, and what was different because of it.

Weak“Thanks for your help.”
Strong“You stayed late Thursday to rebuild the client deck after the file broke. You didn't have to, and because of you I walked into Friday's pitch calm instead of panicking. Thank you.”
Quick check: which one is stronger?

The five rules: see it, say it, show why

  1. Be specificName the exact moment, action or quality. "What exactly did you notice?"
  2. Make it about themUse "you". Describe their effort or who they are, not only what you got out of it.
  3. Say why it matteredThe difference it made - to you, the team, or someone else.
  4. Mean it, say it plainlyWarm beats polished. What do you really want them to know?
  5. Send it nowIt will mean more to them than you expect. Most people go years without hearing one.

Now try one

Write a practice compliment and the app will tell you what is working and how to make it more personal. Practice ones are never posted.

Let me practise Skip - give a real one now

Having a hard time? You matter. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, US) or chat at 988lifeline.org. In an emergency, call 911.

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