The Accomplishment Compliment: Celebrate the Win, and Everyone Who Made It

An accomplishment compliment is about something someone did or reached: a goal, a milestone, a finish line, a hard thing done. Kids learn it as "What an Accomplishment!"

It feels like winning a small prize. And it can be shared, so a whole team or family wins together.

From easy to harder

Easy: name the win.

• "You finished the marathon! That's amazing."
• "You passed your test!"

A little harder: name how hard it was.

• "You passed your certification on the first try while working full time. That's an accomplishment."
• "You practiced every day, and now you can ride without training wheels!"

Harder: praise the effort, not just the result. Kids who are praised for their effort choose harder puzzles and keep trying longer than kids praised for being "smart." Adults are the same.

• "You didn't give up on that problem, even when it got frustrating. That's what got you there."

Hardest: include everyone who made it happen. Big wins are rarely solo. When you celebrate one person, take a second to bring the others in, without taking anything away from the person you're celebrating:

• "Ninety days with no injuries. That's an accomplishment, and that was this whole crew. Jamal, your safety checks every morning are a big reason why."
• "Congratulations on graduating! And Grandma, all those rides to tutoring helped make this day happen."
• "This launch was Tasha's vision, and Luis and Kim worked weekends to get it there. That's a team win."

It works on yourself, too

Accomplishment compliments are one of the best ways to love yourself. Tonight, write down three things you did well today. Not perfectly, just well. Then read them out loud. You did those things. Let yourself say so.

At home

Celebrate the small wins: the first lost tooth, the clean room, the first week at a new job, the year sober, the pound lost, the bill paid off. Have each person at the dinner table name one thing someone else did this week that made them proud. The family that celebrates together learns to cheer for each other.

At work: why bosses should use this one the most

Accomplishment compliments are a leader's best tool, because they tie a person's effort to a real result. That's what makes people want to do it again.

• Be specific about the result. "Great quarter" is a mood. "You closed four new accounts and kept every one of last year's" is evidence.
• Celebrate milestones out loud. Anniversaries, safety records, a first big sale, a finished project.
• Name the team and the person. Celebrate the whole team's win, then name the people who carried pieces of it. Nobody should hear about a win and feel left out of it.
• Give credit away. The most respected leaders say "That fix was hers, not mine" in front of everyone.
• Pair it with acknowledgment. Accomplishment celebrates the result. Acknowledgment thanks the effort behind it. Use both and you've covered the whole person: what they did and what it cost them to do it.
• Don't rank people. "You're my best worker" makes everyone in earshot the loser. Celebrate the accomplishment without comparing.

Try it

Look around: who just finished something hard? Tell them, and include the people who helped them get there.